Hi Everyone,
For today’s message, I want to talk about observing limits. Observing our limits means being aware of the limits of our comfort or ability and communicating these to others. We are all responsible for observing and maintaining our own limits. Maintaining limits means that we take steps toward correcting situations where others have crossed our limits or times when our limits might have changed. For example, I am normally pretty open to taking on new projects but right now my limits are reduced (because I’m stressed!), so I am saying no to more things than usual. This is an example of me effectively observing and maintaining my current limits (i.e., I’m aware that my limits have changed and I’m acting accordingly).
You might be wondering if limits are the same thing as boundaries – and the answer is yes. In my field, we use the word limits because of the stigmatizing nature of the word “boundaries” which implies that there are “correct boundaries” and that people who violate these have “poor boundaries.” Instead, we adopt the (nonjudgmental) stance that we are all allowed to have our own limits and we are all responsible for observing and maintaining them.
What I want to emphasize is that one of the best things we can do to care for ourselves is to be extra mindful about what our current limits are and how those limits may have changed recently. It’s okay if your limits are lower than they normally are. It’s okay if your productivity isn’t where it normally is. It’s okay if you have less to give to others right now. Working to observe and maintain your current limits will ultimately protect you from feeling even more worn down, burned out, distracted, or irritable, and can give you the space you need to begin to feel more balanced again.
Best,
Dr. Carla
